its not breaking if you didnt
2009-08-10 11:58 a.m.
i just successfully broke into my own house using a broom and a piece of raffia string.
WHOOHOO!
life of crime, here i come.
though perhaps a professional thief wouldnt have stood outside the door-that-had-been-opened-with-such-difficulty whooping and cheering for 5 minutes with the oh-so-fierce guard dogs who happily joined in the festivities.
oh come on, i totally earned it after half an hour of balancing on a rickety sink with my arms stuck at an odd and uncomfortable angle through a very high small window trying to manipulate a string and a broom (and i only got to these 2 elements after a lot of futile effort with slippers and dog leashes and other random odds and ends i could find in the backyard) to hook itself around the window latch and arrive at the correct orientation for me to be able to pull it open from my odd and uncomfortable angle.
and that was AFTER a lot of effort spent in trying to squish myself through the one and only open window (the same one i eventually stuck just my arms through) which finally brought me to the realization that i wasnt as skinny as i thought.
all in all the process of breaking in took about 45 very hot and sweaty minutes, all the while with my annoying dogs yapping away inside.
no doubt it was in goodwill because the entire time they were wagging their tails and wiggling but the persistent 'encouragement' just made me want to shout at them to either do something useful or shut up.
i was also mildly concerned over what the neighbors thought (not that i was worried that they would call the police because what idiot would burglar a house in broad daylight wearing the same relatively formal clothes they wore to church and with two annoying furballs inside barking their heads off?) but rather because i was in quite an unglam position and it wasnt exactly the greatest first impression to make.
BUT STILL.
despite all that.
the sense of accomplishment is AMAZING!
i always knew i had a natural knack for house-burglaring.
just never had a chance to demonstrate it before today.
WEEEE!
