post-partum euphoria
2009-07-03 7:00 p.m.
mid years are finally OVER.
this has been the longest 5 days of my life, with massive overuse of my brain.
not only in studying and memorizing but also in strategizing, because a LOT of strategy is required when you have back-to-back exams, intense amounts to cover and the knowledge that you have yet to cover them because you played your holidays away.
i had to be increasingly creative in thinking of ways to come out of this unscathed as the time i had slowly ran out.
such as studying an essay-compilation book for econs instead of the usual notes because on monday afternoon i realized 1/4 of my notes (that being one entire binded book) had been left at xen - of which i had only read 2 pages - and that the 3 binded books i had left were completely untouched and contained a year and a half of information i would not be able to finish reading in one night.
because my exam was on tuesday, if i didnt mention that.
so when people around me moaned about how they had sooooo much left to finish ('oh man i only read through the entire notes ONCE can you believe it?!') i just kept quiet because i didnt want to freak them, or myself, out.
or give anyone any secret satisfaction like 'ha-ha-ha you're going to dieee and push the bell curve down so i will score comparatively better whoop dee doo.'
not that most of the people i know are like that but there are black sheep who secretly (or not so secretly) rejoice when you crash and burn.
in fact i only got through this agonizing period by practicing careful mind control, because if i had let the entirety of what i hadnt studied sink in, i would probably have had a nervous breakdown.
on sunday morning - the day before the actual exam - i woke up to the realization that i had 4 stacks of bio notes to finish reading, 16 topics of maths to cover, not started econs yet and had only gone through chem very briefly last week.
i didnt even bother thinking about gp.
it really boggled my mind to see people revising gp on monday, when i didnt even have time to THINK about studying for it.
(and then i forgot my tutor's name and ended up writing mrs lim on all the papers mrs tan will be marking.)
but somehow, i managed to get through this horrible period.
strategy strategy strategy.
whilst i have no illusions about doing well this time (that would be asking for the moon) at least i have a tiny shred of hope that i wont do TOO badly.
based on the bell curve anyway.
thank goodness the papers were tough enough that studying would only have helped this much.
i mean, of course i would take this much over nothing, but in circumstances as such i have to lower my expectations.
at least the horrible crushing pressure is gone now.
i am really neverrr leaving things so late again because this much pressure will probably lead to my early and untimely death.
or wrinkles.
or WHITE HAIR.
not worth it.
also i am sick and tired of being treated like a flake by people who feel they have the right to look down on me simply because i studied less.
like sheesh, get a life.
and so ends my loooong long entry.
well taa till i get the results back!
