lizard's anatomy
2007-12-06 1:20 a.m.
there, ive removed the lock on my blog.
not that my previous entries were any more scandalous or juicy than usual, the lock simply served to hide the fact that i was too lazy to update.
but since i have nothing better to do and an apparent inability to sleep at times when i am supposed to sleep (my body makes up for it during sermons and speeches) i have decided to update my stale, stagnant, cobwebby website!
my house is infested with pests.
yes i realize that's a bit random. live with it.
i open a cupboard door and a cockroach glares at me impudently. i leave something edible unattended for a minute and ants make it their new home.
i shower and a lizard stares at me.
not so long ago that would have been cause to scream and shout the house down and section the toilet off for extermination for a few decades.
now i just roll my eyes and turn my back on the perverted lizard.
i am secure in the knowledge that, if things get out of hand, i can always bring out the big guns.
behold, the cold-blooded brutal KILLING MACHINE.
do not be fooled by the big eyes and fluffy face. behind that innocent facade lies a savage beast, terror to all that is small and squashable.
here is a glimpse of what would happen to you if you were said small and squashable.
the definition of a hatchet man is one hired for murder, coercion, or attack. therefore i conclude that ginger is a hatchet dog.
and a very good one, at that.
nowadays all it takes is one yell to send my four-footed furry assassin running.
and then what used to be a lizard would be that icky stuff we sweep off the floor and clean off her whiskers.
so all of you out there with a pest problem, there's no need to call for an exterminator.
just get yourself a jack russell terrier.
they're fast, efficient, (take much pleasure in killing the pests), and only require a dog treat when the job is done.
problem solved.
