.................................................................
2010-11-10 3:06 a.m.
in all the negativity I've been facing, I almost forgot some of the bright points of my life.
was extremely touched recently when i (finally) attended a lecture, received the attendance sheet and saw row upon row of my signatures on the paper, as if I had never missed a lecture.
would like to say a big THANK YOU to my lovely friends who painstakingly forged my signature week after week because I wasn't there for whatever reason.
time to re-catch up with the panty/nuah/clean club after sisf and taiwan.
that is if my body doesn't fall apart sometime during.
it's so unbelievably frustrating when I want to do something so badly but whacking myself doesn't work anymore because using more force and energy is no longer the answer.
have to force myself to FEEL instead of just go.
so it's like go go go! - but wait. stop. relax.
which, strangely, is tougher.
and it also sucks when little injuries here and there which didn't really bother me suddenly accumulate and end up affecting me somehow even though I still don't want to admit it.
got to do something about strength and endurance after this chaotic period.
so many things I want to do but it'd all have to wait till after.
I think the biggest things I gained from this whole experience is knowledge and motivation.
knowledge about how inadequate I am in certain areas and motivation to work the problems away after all this.
and of course I also lost a lot of confidence but gee, somethings gotta give.
I just need to survive this to the best of my current abilities and afterwards I've got all the time in the world to upgrade them.
just realized this whole entry was a motivational pep talk for myself.
well. I have to pep up SOMEHOW.
go me.
